Friars on Cardboard

Mustache Monday: Mack's Many Mustaches

2012-01-30T06:19:00.000-08:00

Like last week's 'stacherocker Fred McGriff, Shane Mack was no one mustache wonder. Even before debuting with the Padres, Mack had the ol' lipwarmer in full effect in the minors and as an Olympian. He went on to keep it the entirety of his career, although he kept it closely trimmed toward the end of his career. Mack was a true advocate for the solo-'stache, never giving in like so many others in the mid-to-late 90s by accompanying it with a trendy goatee.

Thursday's Tony Gwynn

2012-01-26T00:21:00.000-08:00

"Thursday's Tony Gwynn" doesn't quite have the same ring as "Tuesday's Tony Gwynn" but it's still TTG and I've used it before so that's what's happening. Longtime readers (ahahahahaha, who am I fooling?) will recall I quit smoking back when Tony got diagnosed with cancer. If you know anything about me at all, you can guess what is about to follow. Yep, it lasted about all of two days. I kept trying for about a month or so, giving in for one or two a day before I finally said eff it and quit fooling myself. The way I see it, I'll be lucky if I live long enough for smoking to be the thing that takes me down. This, of course, is a rationalization and a poor one at that. I can make them all day. Others I use include the facts that I don't smoke nearly as many as I used to, that I could be doing way worse things and that I'm a much more pleasant person to be around when I'm not having nic fits. These are all feeble, feeble reasons but what else would you expect from me?

Mustache Monday: McGriff & My Mistakes

2012-01-23T21:10:00.000-08:00

Fred McGriff was a hell of a hitter for a lot of teams. However, I'm willing to bet that I'm not the only one who immediately thinks of his magnificent John Oatesish pornstache when they hear his name (the Tom Emansky ad rates a close second).

Like McGriff, I'm a multifaceted individual who is recognized mainly for one thing. In my case, it's not a glorious face farm but a historic pattern of fuckin' up. This post's pic is an excerpt from a sketch pad of mine I'd occasionally scribble thoughts down in as well. As you can see, at the time I was really into catching nods. For those who don't know, that's the desired result of doing heroin or a shitload of painkillers. There was a period of a few months last summer/ fall where that was my main reason for getting off the couch. I'm grateful that I've been off of all that for a couple months or so and that it turned out better than my coke phase (basically the entirety of 2009) in that I didn't end up selling it and getting a gun shoved in my face. For now, I'm free of all that and I never get the desire to go cop but I wonder how much lower I can go if I ever stray back into that sort of thing. I don't see it happening- but, then again, who does? It's kind of scary...

Friday Filler

2012-01-20T18:19:00.000-08:00

Mustache Monday: Roberto Alomar

2012-01-16T17:55:00.000-08:00

Speaking of Anthony Rizzo (he's a damn dirty Cub now; no nicknames for him!), the trade of him to get Andrew Cashner was panned by many. I had my doubts but I know I couldn't do Josh Byrnes's job any better so I let it go. I can't imagine how I would have reacted if I had a stupid little nerdblog back when Joe McIlvaine shipped Robbie Alomar and Joe Carter to Toronto for McGriff and Tony Fernandez. I probably would have ranted a bunch because I was eight and I did that even more back then. I just remember being kind of bummed because I knew they were pretty good and I was used to them; I definitely didn't know that Alomar was going to be a Hall Of Famer...

Rizz & The Process Of Weeding Out

2012-01-15T22:22:00.000-08:00

Every now and then, like everybody else, I'll go through and clean out people I have no need to follow on twitter anymore for whatever reason. The other day, Rizz was one of the ones who got the cut. One, I don't like the Cubs and two, it's not like he ever has anything of interest to say. It's not just because he isn't a Padre anymore- I follow the Geoff Blums and Matt Antonellis of the world- but because that's the only reason I had to follow him in the first place. Then again, Padre or not, you couldn't get me to follow Orlando Hudson if you put a gun to my head. Blah, blah, blah; like any of this matters...

Greene & Red (Merry Christmas!)

2011-12-25T10:10:00.000-08:00

Oh, that Khalil Greene
His wrists ran red with his blood
That's Christmassy, right?

Guest Post: Avenger-in-Chief on Joe Randa

2011-12-23T10:01:00.000-08:00

Today's entry is a guest post by Avenger-In-Chief, the brains behind Avenging Jack Murphy. Check his blog out and don't forget to follow him on twitter. Thanks again, Mike!

------------

Last March TTG tweeted a 2006 Upper Deck baseball card of Joe Randa. I was inspired and knew that a guest post at Friars on Cardboard was in order. I thank TheThinGwynn for acquiescing.

I know what you’re thinking and I can see the look on your face right now as you think. You are wondering how Joe Randa, the engine of the 2005 Padres, has received so little coverage on this blog. And your face is painted with delight as you slowly scroll down this page savoring the accolades heaped upon the man who the Madres voted as top newcomer in 2005.

I also know that you’re thinking, “Lord, Joe Randa looks glorious in road Sand!”

But here’s what I was thinking on March 11th, 2011: “In which ballpark was this picture of Joe Randa taken and during which game? And which inning?”

I think of those things. Because I’m weird.*

Do you know which park this photo was taken? In hindsight I think I should have known. Any guesses?

After being traded from the Cincinnati Reds on July 23rd, 2005 for Justin Germano and Travis Chick, Joe Randa’s illustrious 58-game Padre tenure officially began on July 24th in Philadelphia’s Citizen’s Bank Park. Was this photo taken during his first weekend as a Padre?

Here’s the rundown for 2005 Padre games played on the road during the Randa Era: Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Washington, Florida, Atlanta, Milwaukee, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Colorado, and Arizona. I combed through pictures of each one of these ballparks and determined that . . .

You guessed it; the game was played at the home of the San Francisco Giants, AT&T Park! At least that’s what it was called in 2005.

What gives it away? The corporate branding of Yahoo! on the left centerfield wall makes an abbreviated performance in the Randa card in the form of, “o!”.

This should have been more obvious to me but I think I was a little thrown by the lighting in the card. The billboard comes off as a shade of red in the baseball card whereas we clearly know the Yahoo! sign to be purple, as evidenced by the picture above. The miserable San Francisco fog probably affected the lighting in the card.

Looking at the Randa Card also prompted me to believe I was looking more towards right centerfield (the angle threw me off leading to extra research).

Now that we have narrowed down the ballpark to AT&T, which game was this iconic baseball card captured? The Padres played a three game series in San Francisco from September 12th through September 14th and Joe Randa started and finished all three games.

September 12th
On a chilly 58 degree Monday evening, with Adam Eaton on the hill, Joe Randa fielded a pop fly from Randy Winn to leadoff the 1st inning. It would be the last time he touched the ball. Unconfirmed reports suggest that he was even left out of the around-the-horn tosses after San Francisco’s 7 strikeouts.

A cold night, indeed as the Padres dropped game one, 4-3.

September 13th
The next night was equally cold and according to baseball reference, overcast. In the bottom of the 2nd inning Joe Randa would have receive his next chance. After a double by Mike Matheny, Giants pitcher Noah Lowry hit a groundball to Joe Randa, which was fielded and thrown to first baseman, Xavier Nady.

With Brian Lawrence dealing, Randa fielded another pop fly by that man Randy Winn in the bottom of the third and did not touch the ball again until the bottom of the 6th when Clay Hensley coaxed Pedro Feliz into an inning ending 5-4-3 twin killing. The image of Randa leaving his feet to field the ball in the baseball card seems to eliminate this play as it’s unlikely a double play could have been turned on that particular play.

Joe Randa didn’t receive another chance and the Padres fell to the Giants, 5-4.

If Mike Matheny had made it into the photo as a base runner during the 2nd inning play, the experiment would have ended. While this play is still a possibility, we must press on to the Wednesday night game.

September 14th
On another overcast evening, Woody Williams took the ball in game three of the series and quickly served up an opportunity to Joe Randa in the bottom of the second inning. On a 1-2 count Pedro Feliz grounded to Randa and he threw to first baseman Robert Fick for the second out of the inning. Did he leave his feet for the ball? Baseball-Reference and retro sheet make no note of this.

In the bottom of the fifth, Pedro Feliz led off the inning with a foul pop fly to Randa and he would not have another chance that evening.

Trevor Hoffman saved his 38th game in the 10th inning and the Padres took game three, 5-4.

So did the play happen on September 13th in the 2nd inning when Noah Lowry hit a ground ball to Joe Randa or was it September 14th in the 2nd inning when Pedro Feliz grounded-out to Joltin’ Joe Randa? No notations have been made of whether Randa left his feet to make a play but I’m inclined to believe** that the play probably occurred on the Feliz groundball as Mike Matheny would have appeared as a base runner on the Noah Lowry grounder.

Conclusion:
The photograph used by Upper Deck in their 2006 set was taken at AT&T Park on September 14th, 2005 in the 2nd inning when Pedro Feliz struck a ball to Joe Randa at 3rd base.

I feel better now . . .

*In addition to weirdness the idea was also inspired by Larry Granillo of Baseball Prospectus who did something similar with the scene at Wrigley Field in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off .

** I also examined every play to the left side of the field which may have began with a deflection off of Joe Randa’s glove, which baseball-reference would note in their play-by-play section. No play like this appears to have occurred. It’s also worth noting that Joe Randa played this three game series error-free***.

*** It’s Joe Randa. Of course he did!

A Pretty Halfassed Phil Plantier Post

2011-12-20T23:11:00.000-08:00

Here's the Padres' new hitting coach back in his playing days rockin' what I once heard Joe Nuxhall refer to as "some kind of haystack hairdo". Plantier is the latest through the revolving door at that position. His predecessor managed to last two seasons, lasting one more than I guessed he would when he got hired. Since I've been on some sort of idiotic haiku kick lately, here's one just because...

Our new hitting coach
Nice job if you can get it
Check back in a year

Haiku Time: See Ya Latos

2011-12-17T13:11:00.000-08:00

Your shit's electric
The Reds got such a great arm
Goodbye, McMuffin

Haiku Time: Killa Camzilla

2011-12-16T15:33:00.000-08:00

He hates Chinese food
Holy shit, he caught that ball!
Extend his contract

K Hensley

2011-11-14T17:08:00.000-08:00

Last week I asked a trivia question on twitter, something to the effect of "in one 2006 game, one Padre tied the all-time record by walking five times in a nine inning game while a teammate struck out in all five of his plate appearances, also tying a record. Name them." That's not verbatim but I'm too lazy to go back and look it up. A few people correctly guessed that the walking man was Briles but nobody got the second guy. I said I'd reveal the answer here the next day but, yeah, you know how I am. Anyway, it was that guy who looks like a rat.

Kevin Higgins & Built To Spill (A Glimpse Inside My Useless Brain)

2011-11-07T08:28:00.000-08:00

I don't have a lot to say about Kevin Higgins as he's pretty much just another footnote in a sad timeline. I do get some perverse kick, though, from seeing Friars immortalized on cardboard in a moment of failure, be it a fly ball going over Jerald Clark's head or this guy missing a tag; they're all apt. Instead, I'll focus on the background. Since September 10th, I've been jotting down random thoughts, quotes, sketches and notes to self in a large, green, hardbound sketchbook an acquaintance gave me for my birthday. I've had many a sketchpad and written all sorts of gibberish but never combined the two; frankly, I feel like a seven-year-old girl with a Hello Kitty diary. I do enjoy the quaintness and immediacy the medium provides. The whole thing comes off as I expect a rough draft of a Henry Rollins travelogue does- ongoing missives of anger, self-doubt, alienation and general disgust for nearly all that I see. If ever relevant, I may co-opt some entries for inclusion here or at the still-existing P 'n' E... but for now, it's just quotes in the background.

Haiku Time: Cammy

2011-11-04T18:19:00.000-07:00

Heroin and coke
Together they blow your mind
And in time your heart

Haiku Time: Broke

2011-11-01T01:11:00.000-07:00

The nickname of one
Illustrates another's life
Doug Brocail and I

David Wells & I: Perfect We're Not

2011-05-15T17:55:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week I read Boomer's book Perfect I'm Not about eight years after I should have and it definitely gets my endorsement. If you know anything about David Wells, it's about what you'd expect. His co-author did a fine job of letting Boomer's voice and attitude shine through. As I mentioned the last time I wrote about Wells here, I've always been a fan of him, even when he wore pinstripes; I find him so relatable. As a young adult, he experienced periods of homelessness, a situation I've been in a few times in my life. As it turns out, I'm there again. The day I began reading this, I had a home; the next day when I finished it, I did not. As is the case with most of the less than desirable scenarios I find myself in, this one was of my making- or at least mostly. One of my roommates, a disgusting, loudmouthed, self-centered ogre who I had grown to hate more than life itself decided it would be a good idea to talk a bunch of mess behind my back and when confronted on it be a snotty smartass. I just left at that point. When I came back later that night after a few adult beverages and a lot of stewing, all it took was one little cutesy remark to set me off on a year's worth of angry, hateful ranting. I said some things that a human being should never say to another, regardless of how true they are. I guess I threw the term "drug-whore" around a good bit and concluded the whole thing with something to the effect of "Every morning, I wake up and want to die! Well, now I have a reason to live. I want to live as long as it takes so I can one day piss on your grave!" Yeah. Not pretty stuff. Needless to say, that was the line-crosser and I promptly found myself out on my ass. Like Boomer before me, I was provided shelter by my friends. I really do have the best of friends, both those here whom I've known most of my life and those across the country that I have yet to meet in person. I love you guys; without you, there would be no me.

19 is 51

2011-05-09T16:03:00.000-07:00

It's been nearly two weeks since I've written anything on this humble little nerdblog, due mostly to laziness. However, no amount of laziness can keep me from commemorating Tony The Gwynn's birthday. Last year, I posted nineteen of his cards for his fiftieth. I won't be doing that this year due to the aforementioned laziness but since it's Tony's fifty-first, it seemed only right to include his old sidekick #51 in the festivities.

It's been a rough year for The Gwynn. He battled cancer and a variety of other physical ailments in addition to giving up tobacco and seeing his only begotten son be thrown out of the comforting confines of San Diego and becoming a damned dirty, dreaded Dodger. Through it all, even when he was physically unable to smile, he never lost that famous Gwynn laugh that we all know and love. Happy birthday, Tony; may your fifty-second year be smooth sailing.

"Take a hike, son"

2011-04-27T18:19:00.000-07:00

Regardless of everything else he accomplished in his playing and managerial career, I will always immediately associate him with those words he uttered to a young Jim Bouton.

A Win Summarized (Aaron Harang & Chad Qualls)

2011-04-21T15:33:00.000-07:00

So far, the homecoming is going swimmingly for San Diego native and Aztec alumnus Aaron Harang. After yesterday's win over the hapless and harmless baby bears, Harangutan is 4-0. Now, I'll be the first to say that pitcher's wins is the most meaningless statistic in the history of statistics (Can I get an 'Amen!', Dustin Moseley?) but it looks good in print. All of his numbers that matter look good, too.
After Harang had his fill of domination for the day, Ernasty Frieri took over where he left off, striking out two in a scoreless seventh. Next out of the gate was another bounce-back candidate picked up by Jedi on the offseason, former Asstro and D-Bag Chad Qualls. He too struck out two in his inning of work; unfortunately, he also put up a few other twos- hits, runs and earned runs- as he attempted to single-handedly keep Harang 3-0. Once he worked his way out of the eighth with the lead, a hold and all of my fingernails, it was time for Heath "The Second 'H' Is Silent" Bell to do what he does- and we all know what he does. Padres win!

This Date In '88: Kruk Saves The Day

2011-04-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

On this date twenty three years ago, the Giants were visiting the Murph. Eddie Lee Whitson went seven and gave up four hits, one of which was a first inning solo shot to right by Will Clark. The score remained 1-0 in favor of the Giants until the bottom of the seventh when Tempy tied it up by tripling in the late Chris Brown. Still tied at ones in the bottom of the ninth, Larry Bowa called on John Kruk to pinch hit for Carmelo Martinez. Kruk mashed the second pitch far beyond the wall in left center. Ballgame.

Fare Thee Well, Mitch Canham

2011-04-07T23:47:00.000-07:00

Poor Mitch Canham. He switched organizations a couple weeks ago and nobody noticed. When I bought this card on St. Patrick's Day he was still on the San Antonio roster. When I was looking at Minor League rosters last night, he was nowhere to be found so I googled him. Turns out the Pads gave him his walking papers and he latched on with the Oakland org; he's a Midland RockHound now. I mentioned this on Twitter today and in a weird coincidence, about an hour later, MLBTradeRumors mentioned just that we'd released him. I guess some news is just meant to fall through the cracks.
Mitch has yet to live up to the promise he once showed. Originally a catcher, he has since branched out to play all four infield and outfield corners as well. If that doesn't work out for him he can always fall back on his mic skills.

Ladies & Gentleman, Your Tucson Padres

2011-04-06T23:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was lamenting that I don't have any cards of Everth Cabrera since it was jodes's birthday. Sadly, his season doesn't begin until tomorrow evening. Sadder even still is that it begins in Colorado Springs as a member of the brand-new Tucson Padres. They actually didn't get their uniforms until today. True story. The roster is full of other familiar names like Aaron "Sneaky Pig" Cunningham, Luis Durango, new prospect Anthony Rizzo and retread Greg Burke. I remember Burke wore number 40 when he was with San Diego in '09. It was coincidental that every time he pitched I felt the need to drink a 40. Not a big fan of the guy; I'm pretty sure he will never not make me nervous. Anyway, this group will be managed by former Friars backstop Terry Kennedy. He's pictured above on his '84 Donruss.

Xavier Nady & A Dave Roberts Cameo

2011-04-04T23:22:00.000-07:00

This card was released right after X was traded to the Mets for Cammy II. I regard Padres nicknamed Cammy like I regard musicians named Hank Williams: I'm a huge fan of both the first and the third but when it comes to the second, naaaaaah. Anyway, back to Nady. He never really got a chance from Boch and since then injuries have kept him from living up to his promise although he was decently above average in his one full season; he put up a 127 OPS+ in 148 games between Pittsburgh and the Yankees in '08. He missed all but 7 games in '09 and basically sucked ass last year for the Cubs. Now he's in Arizona, another one of KT's stockpile of former Friars along with Geoff Blum, Sean Burroughs, Henry Blanco and Russell Branyan. Also pictured on this card is fan favorite and current club employee of some sort Dave Roberts. I don't think I have any cards of Doc as a Pad; I need to fix that. On a side note to a side note, I always liked that both Bip and Dave Roberts wore number 10. I'm gonna shut up now.

Finally, A Brad Ausmus Card

2011-04-03T23:11:00.000-07:00

So, a couple of weeks ago, I asked on Twitter whose card I should profile next and threw a few names out there; Brad Ausmus was the consensus favorite. The ladies especially seem to love him. I never got around to posting this because I'm an asshole. Well, that's not entirely true; I mean, yes, I am an asshole but the actual reason it took this long is because I'm lazy, forgetful and easily distracted. All in all, I'm a pretty horrible person. But I digress. Ladies and gentlemen (but mostly ladies), with no further ado, I give you Bradley David (well, maybe a little more ado) Ausmus:

(note: This picture is from a couple of months ago. I didn't get a haircut and bring back the brown.)

Bring Back The Brown

2011-04-02T23:54:00.000-07:00

www.
Bring
Back
The
Brown
.com

Trevor Times Two

2011-03-29T18:19:00.000-07:00

Out of the seemingly endless parade of brands and lines that exploded in the early 90s, I think Studio was my favorite. They always had a posed, portrait style picture of each player along with really cool backgrounds, be it an action photo or the player's locker.I always especially liked this credit card style design; I think I've already profiled Tony and Bip's.

I, like pretty much everyone else is, am glad that Trevor is back with the organization. I just kind of wish they would have announced a date for the retirement of his number by now.

Rickey

2011-03-23T18:19:00.000-07:00

Man, Rickey is awesome. Always was and always will be... and Rickey knows it, too. In my opinion, Rickey's the greatest player in the history of baseball. Once, while Rickey was still playing, Bill James was asked if Rickey was Hall Of Fame worthy. He replied that if one could cut Rickey's stats in half, you would have two Hall Of Famers. Rickey.

On A Personal Note: Khalil & The Kiddo

2011-03-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

For five years I had a stepdaughter. She was and is one of the coolest, smartest, funniest, most amazing people in the world. Her favorite player was Khalil; she would always come up while I was watching the games and ask how he was doing. My marriage to her mom was in its final death throes around the time he went to St. Louis and I haven't spoke to her in nearly two years. It's a gap in my life that will remain there until I eventual have a kid of my own; she felt like my own daughter. She'll be turning 14 this year which is amazing to me; she was already a miniature adult when her mother and I split for good. Though I may never see her again, she will always have a huge place in my heart. Otter, if you should ever happen to read this, just know I love you.

Beware The ATVs: Ron Gant & Donavan Tate

2011-03-20T23:11:00.000-07:00

I got those party hats on my favorite person ever's birthday and snapped this pic with a card of birthday sharer and one time Padre Ron Gant. She and I were watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother a few weeks later and she spotted them rocking the same ones. Nice! When I think of Ron Gant, I tend to think of him getting into a four-wheeler accident that effed him out of what would have been the most lucrative contract ever.
That incident was, of course, the first thing I thought of when '09 first pick Donavan Tate did pretty much the same thing. He didn't screw himself out of any money but he did miss out on development time and kinda dicked over the organization. It's not necessarily the end of the world, though.

2011 Topps Heath Bell

2011-03-19T18:19:00.000-07:00

I'm a big fan of Heath Bell but this is my first card of him. I like his outspoken nature and child-like enthusiasm but most of all I love that he has publicly stated that he'd be willing to take the famed "San Diego Discount" to stick around. I got this card out of my first pack of 2011 Topps (see below). One neat detail on the backs is that along the right side it tells you in very small print who appeared on that card number in a random year. For instance, this one informs collectors that in 1996, card #178 was Otis Nixon.

Gene Richards & Reel Big Fish

2011-03-16T00:34:00.000-07:00

Gene Richards is an underrated part of Padres history. His career was a short one but he did his fair share of damage in seven years in brown and gold before bowing out after a season in San Francisco- I think a season in San Francisco would make anyone give up on their passion. His last season with the Pads and the penultimate season of his career was '83; talk about being so close! Before then he stole 56 bases in his rookie season and led the league in triples in '81. His .291 career average was a San Diego high water mark until some guy named Tony came along and rewrote everything. Richards was also the last guy to wear #19 before T.

Another Birthday: Mike Pagliarulo

2011-03-15T12:33:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of content lately. Since I'm in a hurry and have to be at work in 24 minutes, I'm just throwing up another birthday card. Mike Pagliarulo's old ass is turning an old ass 51 today. I don't think very highly of him since apparently he was one of the a'holes along with Jack Clark that talked mess on Tony The Gwynn way back when... and NOBODY talks mess on Tony The Gwynn. So, Mike Pagliarulo, have a good time doing whatever the hell the Mike Pagliarulos of the world do on their birthdays.

Another Day, Another Catcher: Happy Birthday, Ben Davis!

2011-03-10T20:19:00.000-08:00

It's only been ten days since my last Ben Davis post but today's his birthday so here we go again. He turned 34 today. Thirty four! For some reason, I thought he was older than that. I'm pretty sure that every time I've put a card of his on here, I've mentioned the time he broke up Curt Schilling's (Schilling?!?!) perfect game in the eighth with a bunt single. That was the best thing ever and it was made even better by Schilling and all the other D-Bags getting pissy about it. Ben hasn't played in the Majors since '04 but he's still trying to make it back, albeit now as a pitcher. That would be pretty incredible if he managed to pull that off; I guess he has more time to do it than I thought.

Happy Birthday, Benito Santiago!

2011-03-09T18:19:00.000-08:00

Today is Benito Santiago's birthday. I remember getting this card when it came out and thinking about how weird it would be to see him wearing a different uniform since he'd been a fixture with the Friars since my first full season as a fan. He would go on to wear many, many more uniforms before he finally hung up his syringe.
I think I mentioned this before in a Bip post but either way, man, I thought those portrait wristbands were the shiz back in the day. All the big stars and big egos had 'em and I definitely drew them when I made baseball cards of myself.

Tuesday Tony Gwynn: '98 Pinnacle Inside Can

2011-03-08T15:33:00.000-08:00

Today's Tony Gwynn isn't actually a card at all; instead it's a can of '98 Pinnacle Inside. I remember when these came out. It was fairly radical packaging even back then when everything in the card market was seemingly in a contest to be more ridiculous than last week's die-cut, reflective and 3-D abomination. Still yet, I was 15 at the time so I was sold and bought quite a few cans. The local card shop even had a can opener behind the counter if you wanted to open them there- I always did since I always ripped at least a few packs there at the counter each visit; the lady that owns the place genuinely enjoyed seeing what everybody got and showing you her new pulls. Anyway, for whatever reason- maybe they were distributed regionally- my card store never got the Tony cans so I was relegated to getting cans of Chuck Knoblach and the like. I had forgotten about this product until about a month ago when I got this unopened cylinder of awesome from reader ABY. Even though I'm slightly curious what cards are encased within, I will never know.

More Mud

2011-03-05T12:34:00.000-08:00

I know I just posted a Mark Grant card but oh well, both of you reading this can deal. I'm so eager for baseball season and one of the best parts of watching 162 Padres games is listening to Mud. He's been a fixture for years and no matter who he's paired up with, his personality shines through. I mean, the man can even make listening to the beacon of obliviousness that is Dick Enberg tolerable.
Oh, and unrelated but last week I made my first box break video. It's pretty awful and awkward; if you haven't seen it yet, here it is so you can have a laugh at my expense:

Ben Davis, Suicidal Tendencies & Stirrups

2011-02-28T13:38:00.000-08:00

Look at those stirrups. That's how baseball socks are supposed to look. I remember when Jim Thome debuted with the Indians back in the early 90s, he became one of my favorite non-Padres because he rocked 'em the right way. It's become slightly trendy on a small scale in the past ten years or so for players to wear their socks high although most who do so favor the solid sock- it's not ideal but it's definitely better than the pajama pants look.

(I bet you thought I was gonna write about him breaking up Schilling's [Schilling?!?!] no-hitter with a bunt, didn't you? God, that was awesome.)

Mud and Matty V.

2011-02-20T14:59:00.000-08:00

On Friday, jbox at Gaslamp Ball wrote about the Top Ten Padres Related Videos on YouTube (or TTPRVoYT if you prefer) and I realized today that my favorite PRV wasn't on the list. Mud and Matty V. were both there but individually. The video they made when Vasgersian got hired cracks me up every time.

That Guy Was A Padre? Volume II: Rick Wise

2011-02-11T00:34:00.000-08:00

This seemed like a good idea for a running series that I'll soon abandon. Every now and then, I stumble across a card of a guy I had no idea was ever a Padre. Harold Reynolds was one of those; Rick Wise was another.
If you're anything like me, you remember Rick Wise for two things. One, he was traded for Steve Carlton and two, he gave the greatest single game performance in Major League history. On June 23 of 1971, Wise no-hit the Reds and hit two home runs in the same game. Nobody had done it before and nobody has done it since. One thing he does have in common with many before him and since him is that he ended his career in San Diego barely getting by on fumes. He pitched poorly in 1980 and '81 and gave up two runs in two innings in his sole game of 1982. The Padres released him April 16th, six days after Colt Morton was born and seven after Chad Reineke was born.

FoC's Third Annual Bip Roberts Day

2011-02-10T06:19:00.000-08:00

In the only running theme here at Friars On Cardboard that has stuck so far, today, February 10th, is Bip Roberts Day. There's no rhyme or reason behind it, just that I posted a Bip card two years ago as a shoutout to my friend and former brother-in-law Corey who is a big Bip fan and then did it again 365 days later. Well, 365 more have passed so here we are again. Since this has become a yearly event, I went all out this go-'round (that's the way we talk in these parts, tell you what), I went all out and posted five cards instead of the customary one and, in addition to This Year In Bip Links like I did last year, I've gathered together ten (of course) Bip facts you may or may not know. First the facts:

1. Bip was picked from the Pirates system by the Padres in the 1985 Rule V Draft. After spending the obligatory full 1986 season with the big league team, the organization sent him back to the minors for all of '87 and most of '88.
2. Bip is currently employed as an analyst for the Giants. Ugh!
3. In addition to his familiar number 10 that he wore in San Diego, Cincinnati and Detroit, Roberts wore 2 as a rookie and later went on to wear 1 with the Royals, 6 with the Indians and 3 with Oakland.
4. He was traded by the Padres to the Reds for "Nasty Boy" Randy Myers following the 1991 season. He promptly made his only All Star team.
5. The second time he was traded by the Padres, it was for another player who would go on to be a San Diego fan favorite. He was sent to Kansas City before the 1996 season for Wally Joyner.
6. Bip played every position in the Majors except pitcher, catcher and
first baseman.
7. In 1997, Roberts was second in the National League with 107 singles. The only man with more was of course his teammate, Mr. Padre himself, Tony The Gwynn.
8. Bip maintained a blog for a little over a month last season. If he's anything like me, he'll come back to it at some point, fire off a flurry of posts in one week and then go back to neglecting it for a while. He can also be found on Twitter.
9. His uncle Roy Shivers played for the St. Louis (now Arizona) Cardinals from 1966 through 1972. He had the NFL's longest kick return of 1966, a 94 yard run.
10. In Pedro Martinez's famous near-perfect game in 1995, it was Bip who broke it up in the tenth inning with a double.

On to the links:
The great Punk Rock Paint created a 1988 Fleer of Bip as he didn't have a card in that set due to being in the minors all of the prior season along with a 1988 Topps Traded and a few "relic" cards for Padrographs' contest. He also made a number of Bipoganda posters and a ten dollar Bip Buck.

Speaking of Padrographs, five days ago he featured nine Bips. His entire blog is particularly Bipcentric as you can see from the eight pages of results that come up when you search "Bip" there. He has also cataloged all of his Bips in one spot.

Well, I think that puts a bow on yet another successful Bip Roberts Day. Make it a good one!

Hey, Jake Peavy Fans!

2011-02-09T11:11:00.000-08:00

Most of my readers (meaning at least two out of all three of you guys) know I'm not a Jake Peavy fan. I liked the chance he gave us every five days but as far as a human being, ehh. I won't go into details since I've already bored you with that.
Anyway, I know a lot of you are fans of the guy so you would probably get more joy out of this than I would. Not to say I don't think it's one of the raddest bobbleheads I've seen; I'd just like to pass stuff along to those who would be happy to have it like others have done for me. So, if you if you don't have this and would like to, email me your address (wordsplusnumber[at]yahoo[dot]com) and you'll have a shoebox wrapped in brown paper on your doorstep in no time.

Answering A Student's Questions About Blogging

2011-02-02T18:19:00.000-08:00

This post has nothing to do with Eric Show- I do have a post on him coming up in a day or two, though. It was a reader request and I aim to please.
A few days ago, I got an email from a Melanie who is a Broadcast Communications major at CSU East Bay and is currently doing research for her Sports and Media class. She's one of the four or five readers of this humble little nerdblog and had some interview questions about sports blogging. Gaslamp Ball got the same set of questions and posted their answers. Since I'm always in the market for filler, I thought I'd do the same...
1. Where did you grow up?
Ravenswood, WV
2. What was it like to be a kid, a teenager, or a young person in that time?
It was pretty boring. A small, redneck town, it wasn't the best place for a young punk rocker.
3. Did you decide to go to college? If so, did it help you in pursuing become a sports blogger?
I went very briefly. It had no impact on my eventual blogging.
4. How did you first become interested in becoming a sports blogger?
Probably after reading and getting immersed in other blogs such as Gaslamp Ball. I had a short lived blog called Pads And Ends before starting Friars On Cardboard which I started because I like baseball cards and no one else was doing a blog that was strictly Padres cards and nothing more.
5. What did you read before you became a sports writer (newspapers, books, magazines, etc)?
All of the above.
6. Who are/were your favorite authors?
Jim Bouton, Jeff Pearlman, John Steinbeck
7. What sports did you play?
baseball
8. Did you have a favorite sports team growing up?
The Padres
9. Did your parents have a favorite sports team that differed from yours? If so, how did that affect you?
My mother didn't care about sports until I did and then it was just for my sake. I didn't know my father.
10. How did you use media in your everyday life before your career?
For information and time-wasting.
11. How has the internet, instant messaging, instant video uploading and other new technology impacted the way you report today compared to five or ten years ago?
I have never done any reporting, haha
12. How do you deal with coaches or club owners who may or may not want to share information? For example, the Giants issue with Barry bonds and the Balco investigation.
This has never been an issue in the kind of blogging I do.
13. How have sports news and entertainment changed in the span of your career? For the better? For the worse?
Blogging seems to be taken more seriously now. They are now cited as sources and the mother's basement jokes seem to be dying down. I think Rob Neyer's move from ESPN to SBN will further legitimize the sports blogging community.
14. What would you say is the most challenging part of being a sports blogger?
Writing when I don't feel like it. Which I don't do, so it's not challenging at all.
15. What is the most exciting part of being a sports blogger?
I got pretty excited when I found out Jeff Pearlman read my blog and it "made (his) day".
16. What are some major sports events you recall covering? Did that change your perspective?
I haven't covered any events.
17. What kind of skills are necessary in order to be a sports blogger?
The abilities to write and research. For more serious bloggers than myself, the ability to make deadlines.
18. Where would you say the future of sports blogging is heading?
I think it's taking over. People won't tolerate the BS that comes along with traditional sources when they realize they don't have to.

Dickey Thon And Some Shoutouts

2011-02-01T17:55:00.000-08:00

Since I'm always giving the almighty Gaslamp Ball its proper respect around here and I shouted out RJ's Fro and .400 in '94, I thought I'd toss out a few more links today. Well, that and I don't know shit about Dickie Thon.
About a month ago, multi-blogger Steve Adler (no, not that one!) sent me the Friarhood shirt shown above. It is so comfortable! They've got a wide selection of shirts, including Team Latos and the Pen-itentiary ones the bully rocked last year.
As far as card blogs, my favorite has to be Orioles Card O' The Day. And, yes, he really does update it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I'm impressed. Kevin has two other phenomenal blogs as well- The Great 1965 Topps Project and NumerOlogy.

Goose & Garvey

2011-01-31T23:11:00.000-08:00

It's been a couple days since I posted anything so I thought I'd toss up a little scrap of filler to suffice until I have time to write a proper post in a few hours or so. Man, I love the unis from this era- those BP jerseys especially. Outside of that, there's not really much I have to say about this card right now that the back of it hasn't already said.

Ten Trivia Gems: Joey Cora Edition

2011-01-30T06:19:00.000-08:00

1. In Joey's 11 year career, he hit 30 HRs. He didn't hit any in his three seasons with the Pads; in fact, he didn't hit his first until his sixth season.
2. After a 1986 game in AA San Antonio, Cora got jumped by eleven guys
and was stabbed. According to Sandy Alomar, Jr., "The doctor told me if the stab was two inches lower, Joey's probably dead."
3. In 1997, Joey hit in 24 consecutive games. This is a record for American League switch hitters.
4. He was no stranger to hitting streaks; in 1989, he hit in 37 straight games for AAA Las Vegas.

5. Joey led the A.L. in sacrifice hits in 1993.
6. Best remembered with the White Sox and Mariners, he played the last month of his career with Cleveland. He went to Spring Training in 1999 with the Blue Jays but retired before the season began.
7. Joey wore numbers 4 and 5 with the Friars, 21 and 28 with the White Sox and kept 28 the rest of his career, wearing it with Seattle and Cleveland.
8. His best season was 1997. He was an All Star and posted career highs in most statistical categories. He hit exactly .300 with an OPS of exactly .800. It was his only season with an OPS+ over 100 (110).
9. In 402 plate appearances in 140 games spread out over three seasons with San Diego, Joey had 35 walks and 35 strikeouts.
10. My cat Cora is named after him. The day I got and named her, Joey's brother Alex was released by the Rangers about an hour later.

This Isn't About Randy Jones

2011-01-29T23:11:00.000-08:00

I was just reading SDPads1's awesome memorabilia blog .400 in '94; man, he's got so much RJ stuff! I guess it makes sense considering his other (*cough*more recently updated*cough*) blog is RJ's Fro. Gaslamp Baller ABY recently sent me a parcel of Padres gubbins as she called them. I'd never heard that word before but it has since became one of my favorite words. Man, I love words. I love words so much that my friends call me "Words". But I digress... Anyway, I'll be posting some of that in the near future- along with an accompanying card, of course. I hope he doesn't think I'm stepping on his turf! He's already done a post on one of the things...

Oh, and that jersey I'm wearing in that picture? Hoffy. That was all ABY. To quote Rivers (no, not that one!), "How cool is that?"

A Baby-Faced Derrek Lee

2011-01-27T23:11:00.000-08:00

Three weeks ago, the Orioles signed D. Lee to a one year deal worth up to ten million dollars to man their first base vacancy. Lee had a down year by personal standards though his numbers did pick up after a waiver-wire trade to Atlanta, albeit in a small sample size. Despite his subpar season, he was still in demand this offseason with several teams, including the Padres, attached to his name. "I hear people say I'm old, I'm declining. I want to prove that theory wrong" said Lee upon signing. Nobody was saying that about Derrek during his short tenure in San Diego. As a baby-faced 21 year old, Lee got into 22 games and hit one of his 312-to-date home runs before being sent to Florida in the trade that got us a year of Kevin Brown. Of course, you can't mention Derrek Lee without thinking of this picturewhich led to this

which led to this

Rambling About Camouflage And... Wait, Harold Reynolds Was A Padre?!?!

2011-01-26T21:59:00.000-08:00

As you know, the Padres have unveiled two new uniforms over the past two days. I've made my disdain for the new road grays well known both on Twitter and Gaslamp Ball so I won't gripe any more about that. As for the new Marines-inspired digital camo, well, I like it. I like it better than the most recent camouflage jersey but my favorite is still the original. I'm just a fan of that print; maybe it's the West Virginia in me. I've owned countless pairs of Army pants (usually cut-off) along with an Army jacket (which of course got covered in patches of punk bands) and my favorite Bouncing Souls (speaking of New Jersey!) shirt. Sheesh, that was a lot of parenthesis...
I got this card the other day (among many more and lots of other awesome stuff that will be showing up on this blog) from fellow Gaslamp Baller ABY and was pretty surprised. I had no recollection of Harold Reynolds being a Padre. Turns out, I had good reason as he never played a regular season game for the Friars. He was signed as a free agent January 28th, 1994 after one year with the Orioles and was traded two months and a day later to the then-California Angels on the eve of the season opener for the forgettable Hilly Hathaway. The more you know...

So Long, Salad Bar

2011-01-25T15:33:00.000-08:00

I don't have a card of Oscar Salazar so I decided to do the next best thing and picture cards of Oscar Azocar (R.I.P.) and Luis Salazar. It'll do.

Well, it appears that with Jed's addition of Jorge Cantu, Salad Bar's days with the Pads have come to an end. What little business he still had doing on the roster is now gone. I remember the day KT traded for him. I was, as I am right now, suffering from a brutal cold. My friends made me get up and hang out; we did some shopping- I got a way too big for me Springsteen Born To Run shirt- and went to Red Lobster. Then I scored some Vicodins and we drank a bunch of Coors Light on the porch of my then home which has since burned to the ground. I'm grateful to say that today is different- not that I'd mind getting a new Bruce shirt or some seafood and cheddar biscuits, but I'm not drinking today and the only drug I'm on is DayQuil.

Totally Terrible Garbage: The Worst Of FoC In 2010

2010-12-28T18:19:00.000-08:00

Earlier, I posted a year-end list of my favorite FoC posts from the past year. You have to take the bad with the good so here are the ones that didn't work, needed more work or just plain sucked:

7) Eric Owens: Intense

I put absolutely no effort into this one. I just copied the story from the back of the card. Granted, it was a good story about him but still... that's card-blogging at its very laziest.

6) He's A Friar Now, Damn It!

This isn't the shortest or the worst entry but it was admittedly half-hearted. As noted in the post, I literally wrote it on my way out the door.

5) "Mud, you're the best, man."

Another example of my laziness, this entry consisted of nothing but a link to Gaslamp Ball's account of Sut's infamous visit with Matty V. and Mud back in '06.

4) You Write The Caption Contest, Volume 1

Undoubtedly, the first volume will also be the last. The contest was an absolute flop. Only three people submitted a caption and, after I declared them all co-winners, no one bothered to e-mail their address to me in order to claim their prize. Good in concept but terrible in execution.
3) Here's Some Filler ('06 UD Ben Johnson)

The title says it all. The entirety of the post is the transcript of an approximately three second exchange between me and a friend of mine.

2) Can Matt Antonelli Please Have #9 Back?

Oh, this was embarrassing. I wrote an empassioned plea that Antonelli be given his preferred uniform number of 9 as opposed to the 10 that the club issued him since nobody else on the 40 man roster was assigned that number. It was promptly pointed out to me that coach Ted Simmons was in possession of that digit. After the season, when Simmons left the organization, I was optimistic that Matt would be able to get his old number back next season. Alas, it was not to be as he was non-tendered and recently signed on with the Nationals.
1) Bruce Bochy: Dead To Me

This one sums up "phoning it in". It consisted of merely one sentence- an obscene, resentful and parenthetical sentence at that. This was shamefully my only post for the month of November.

Top Thirteen Goodness: The Best of FoC in 2010

2010-12-28T01:38:00.000-08:00

Well, it's the end of the year and that means one thing: "best of" lists. I was going to do a ten best list but, as Sam of 11 Points says, "Top ten lists are for cowards". Since 11's his thing and besides, "Top Eleven Goodness" can't be abbreviated TTG, I decided on twelve. I was unsure between two posts for the final spot so I expanded it to thirteen. I'll be following this up with a "worst of" list...

13) Brian Johnson and Jeff Pearlman: Personal Heroes

This one was about my admiration of forward-thinking former Padres catcher Brian Johnson and his friend: author, sportswriter and blogger Jeff Pearlman

12) Fried Chicken And A Puddle

It's a story John Kruk once told me about him and Tony Gwynn. I thought about using a different Tony post for this list just because I managed to sneak a Bruce Springsteen video in it but I think this one is ultimately better.
11) 7 Random Facts About Garry Templeton

The day before, I asked readers what card I should write about next. There was a choice between five players and Templeton tied with Steve Finley. The comments were used as a tiebreaker.

10) A 'n' G Lies

This post about an Allen & Ginter of former face of the franchise Adrian Gonzalez combines two of my favorite things: Guns 'n' Rose's G 'n' R Lies album and badmouthing Jake "Cy Young, Dumb and Full Of Cum" Peavy.

9) Everybody Loves Blummer (No Pressure, No Problems)

I really enjoyed writing this one. It was a follow-up to the previous day's Sean Burroughs And My Hatred Of The Word "Potential". It's less about Blum and Burroughs than it is about expectations and how they skew perceptions.

8) This Tuesday's Guest: SDPads1 from RJ's Fro on Wally Joyner

Just what it sounds like. In FoC's second guest spot, SDPads1 of RJ's Fro and .400 In '94 wrote about Wally World's tenures in San Diego as both a player and as a hitting coach.
7) Ten Trivia Gems

Featuring ten pieces of information you may or may not know about Padres history. Pictured are four cards: two Caminitis, a Greg Vaughn and a Sean Burroughs. Since this was a May post, even Burroughs was rocking some beard.

6) This Thursday's Guest: Steve From White Sox Cards on Shawn Abner

As the title states, Steve from the excellent White Sox Cards blog wrote about former Number 1 draft pick Shawn Abner who spent time with both clubs among others. It was FoC's third guest post.

5) The Klesko Facial Hair Chronicles: Volumes 1 (Facehawk), 2 (Chopgoat), 3 & 4 (Circlegoats) and 5 (Chinblock and Soul Triangle)

While this was four posts, I'll count it as one since it was a series spread out over a few days. It was part of The Month Of The Beard festivities.

4) Archi!

This was the first of three guest posts this year. It was written by Friars fan and friend of the site Alex Kasendorf. It's about watching games with his dad when he was a lad.

3) The FoC 100th Post Celebratory Review and Beardstravaganza

This post came near the end of May (a.k.a. Beard Month). It includes fourteen cards featuring various stages of beardedness.

2) My Month In Zanesville (Featuring Token Mentions of Jay Payton & Chris Young)

This is one of the longest FoC posts ever. It mentions when Chris Young nearly threw a no-hitter while I was spending 30 days in Jay Payton's hometown. It includes excerpts from letters I wrote home during that month.

1) Baseball Heals All Wounds (A Tale Of Joey Cora, My Mom & Me)

This is my favorite thing I've ever written. It's a heartwarming (gasp!) story about how baseball brought my mother and I back together. I wrote it on her birthday.

The One Where I Write About Matt Clement

2010-12-27T22:47:00.000-08:00

A few days before the 2001 season began, the Friars sent Matt Clement, Eric Owens and somebody by the name of Omar Ortiz to Miami for Mark Kotsay and the immortal Cesar Crespo. Obviously, Owens, Clement and Kotsay were the main pieces of the deal. Fleer was able to make note of the new locales but didn't have new action shots by the time presses ran.
By the time of the trade, Clement had pretty much worn out his welcome in San Diego. In his second season, he was worse than the first. He lost 17 games and led the league in walks and wild pitches. He didn't fare much better in black and teal and was shipped to Chicago 364 days later. Eventually he was named an All Star with Boston in 2005, his penultimate season. Probably best remembered for his various goatees, Clement has gotten back to his roots. He now spends his days in suits and sweats as the basketball coach of his high school alma mater.

Tiny Tony's Gone (Tales Of Walk-Offs And Mushrooms)

2010-12-13T00:13:00.000-08:00

I know he's a filthy effin' Dodger now but I can't hate him. I know, I know he chose to sign with them under his own free will but I get it. He still gets to play as close to his hometown as possible now that playing in his hometown isn't an option and they gave him a Major League deal which, let's face it, not a whole lot of other teams were lining up to do. He'd been my favorite Padre since we got him from Milwaukee for Jody and he got to PETCO after the game had started, walked as a pinch hitter in the ninth and came around to score the walk-off run- all of which happened while I was on mushrooms. The last time I had done mushrooms before that was when Adrian hit an 18th-inning three-run walk-off shot against the Reds in May of '08 when I was wandering the Earth like Kane from Kung-Fu...

Bruce Bochy: Dead To Me

2010-11-06T14:22:00.000-07:00

(KT can go get fucked, too.)

GO RANGERS!!!

2010-10-27T15:13:00.000-07:00

I don't think I need to tell you who I'm rooting for in the World Series. I hate the Giants with a passion usually reserved for rapists and Carlos Mencia; also, Texas has a few players who are nearly impossible to root against including the drug-free duo of Josh Hamilton and C.J. Wilson- quite the contrast to our beloved Cammy who spent some of the twilight of his career (and sadly, his life) in Arlington. The way that wrinkle makes his jersey read on that card is the saddest kind of funny...

Tony Gwynn Made Me Finally Quit Smoking

2010-10-22T06:19:00.000-07:00

I've smoked well over half of my life. Considering that I'm 28, that's pretty white trash. Over the years, I've tried many times to quit but always pansied out and kept sucking down tar until I caught word of our icon's plight a couple weeks ago. I've always had it in my head that cancer would be my endgame and that I needed to bail the loser's path before it came to that but it never got as real as it did once Big T got his dismal diagnosis. I hope he's one of the philosophical sorts who thinks it was worth it if only his suffering saved but one life... because that's what happened.

Tuesday's Trevor: Keep The Faith

2010-08-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

I've said it before but I love that there are so many cards out there of Trevor just havin' a good time. I also love the prominent "Keep the faith" signage- fine advice that today's breed of foulweathers would be wise to heed. Seriously, by fretting over everything and conjuring up worst case scenarios you're insulting the players and the organization you supposedly support but in the big picture you're only hurting yourself. Breathe. Believe. You'll thank yourself.

Baseball Heals All Wounds (A Tale of Joey Cora, My Mom & Me)

2010-08-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

Today is my mum's birthday so I figured it was high time to share this story about her that I've been meaning to write here for months and months now.

My mother and I don't see eye-to-eye on much. In fact, we agree on so little that I just actually laughed audibly (IJALA) after I typed that sentence because it's such an understatement. The one thing she has always been supportive of is my love of baseball. When I was a kid, she would watch games with me on TV and each summer when we would go to visit her family in Rochester, NY, she would take me to Red Wings (AAA, then Orioles-affiliated) games, asking questions all along as she had no interest in baseball until I did. As different as we were and are, we shared and share a favorite player. I'm not sure why she liked Joey; I imagine she admired him being the little guy fighting to make his place amongst men towering over him in both stature and skill, much like a single mother struggling to make the best life possible for three kids.

At any rate, one moment always stands out to me above all others. It was Game 5 of the '95 ALDS and the "Refuse To Lose" Mariners had clawed back from losing the first two games to force a rubber match. In the third inning, Joey broke a scoreless tie by mashing a Black Jack McDowell pitch over the right field wall for a solo shot. We were ecstatic and the announcers were incredulous. Until the day I die I will never forget the call: "From an unlikely source! Joey Cora!" Of course, you know they went on to win the game and the series on Griffey's mad dash in the 11th but that's neither here nor there for the purposes of this tale.

Fourteen years pass and I'm sitting in my living room in Huntington. At that point, my mother and I hadn't spoken in over two months. The last time we'd seen each other we had some sort of yelling match- probably about religion but I'm not sure. All I do know is that neither one of us was willing to concede anything. I was flipping through the channels and came across a replay of that game on MLB Network. While I remembered him hitting the "unlikely" HR, I had forgotten the game and the situation so I was as excited as I was when it happened fourteen falls before. The first thing I did- without thinking- was pull out my phone and call my mom. I'm sure she was surprised to hear my voice and probably a bit scared since I was talking so frantically. I blurted that I was watching a replay of an old Mariners game and before I could finish the sentence about what Joey did, she asked excitably "Was it the 'From an unlikely source!' game?" We talked as though there had never been any rift between us and went on to catch up on the past few months. It was amazing. After I got off the phone, I couldn't help but keep thinking how powerful baseball is. I knew before, but until that point I never grasped the magnitude; baseball can truly heal all wounds.

Mustache Monday: Totally The Goose

2010-08-02T06:19:00.000-07:00

This is one of those times that happen every so often where I apologize for neglecting you and promise it'll never happen again. We both know the truth but both of you readers will be happy to know that I'm in my "on again" blogging mode for the moment and have a slew of new posts coming up.
Back during May as I was celebrating the wonder that is the May Beard, I had the idea of doing a "Mustache Monday" feature and promptly forgot about it as quickly as it had came to me. Well, I've churned out a few and set them to autopost the next few Mondays so this won't turn out as ill-fated as the "Tuesday's Trevor" idea which never really got off the ground- though I do have one set to go for tomorrow. Upcoming stache-rockers include Shane Mack, Gene Harris, Craig Lefferts, Chris James and of course Boch- both as a player and a manager.
Upcoming posts include one later today about Joey Cora, my mom and me (today's her birthday), a 2006 First Bowman Chrome Ernesto Frieri, the aforementioned Tuesday's Trevor, a Thursday Tony Gwynn and a little something about my love of camoflage. As always, I'm sincerely grateful for everybody that's reading this and I welcome your thoughts, criticism, and contributions. Sorry for my predictably unpredictable hiatus; thanks for being around when I finally came back. WG, I really sound like an alcoholic...

My Month In Zanesville (featuring token mentions of Jay Payton and Chris Young)

2010-07-21T06:19:00.000-07:00

Jay Payton was born in and went to high school in Zanesville, OH. How did I come to discover this? Well, for a month four years ago, I read Z'ville's paper for a month straight and each day their sports section has a box featuring his up to date stats just like my local Parkersburg News & Sentinel does for our native son Nick Swisher. Why was I reading the Zanesville newspaper for a month? I'm glad you asked.
Our story begins with me driving the two hours from my house to Columbus to watch my friend Matt Fagtard's band Dirty Alleys/ Dirty Minds open up for Cheap Sex and The Scarred, help move their instruments and gear from their practice house to the venue and to of course hang out and party before, during and after the show. I started drinking before noon and was predictibly extremely drunk by the time the show started at 7 or so. As would be expected, I kept drinking and much of the night is grayed out. I remember giving three tattoos over the course of the day including one to the singer of The Scarred that I finished no more than five minutes before they took the stage. I remember giving my keys to Matt before the show and the last thing I remember is being given a throw pillow and being shown a piece of floor to sleep on.
The next thing I can remember happened three or four hours later. I was awoken by the worst sound I'd ever heard- an indescribable cacophony of metal on metal. I looked to my right and was nearly blinded by the bizarro double rainbow of more sparks than Jennifer Beals's day job scenes in Flashdance. The front right of my beloved Jetta was pinned under the cab of a semi! I was driving! Well, to be more realistic, I was in the driver's seat while being dragged at 90 MPH. What?!?! In spite of my terror, bewilderment and still present hammeredness- likely aided by adrenaline from the shock of finding myself in the situation of closing my eyes on a floor and opening them in my car certain I was dying, I managed to manuever my miraculously still drivable car from what I thought was our executor. I drove a few more miles before being bluelighted by Ohio Highway Patrol; that part of the story goes exactly as you'd expect it to. I was awakened after maybe two hours of sleep in holding and led before the judge. Still unbelievably drunk, I plead no contest, expecting a fine and maybe a day in jail since it was a first offense. The judge, noting on record that my appearance indicated a blatant disregard for society, instead sentenced me to thirty days. That's how I came to find out where Jay Payton is from.
I got to watch the Padres one time- on my last day there. It was when CY took a no-hitter against Pittsburgh into the ninth. Until that point, I wore a poker face the whole time I was there in times both bad and not quite so bad because that just seemed like the thing you were supposed to do. But when ESPN cut to the game, I was jubilant. All the happiness that had no reason to leave to show itself for over four weeks came out that moment. As you know, my joy was short-lived as Joe "Makes Me Hate My Own First Name" Randa wrecked it one out later.
During my time there, I wrote to my then-wife every day. Here are some excerpts:
Saturday, August 26th...It is so hard to think with these crackheads in here: "HAAAAA- YEAAH, NIGGA! NAH, F'RIL, DOE; F'RIL, DOE; YEEAH, NIGGA- HAHAHAHA" on and on repeating each others' nonsense trying to act hard ending every sentence with "nigga", YELLING FOR NO REASON constantly even when it's just one, endlessly talking about all things crackish, making loud noises for no reason, more jibberish repeated at least two times apiece......Everybody's out there watching the Browns game- I was out there for a few and a guy asked me "You like the Browns, nigga?" All I could come up with was "I'm wearing their colors aren't I?"
Thursday, August 31st...I keep having very realistic dreams and all I ever do in them is get drunk. I had one last night- I recall sitting in the backseat of someone's car drinking 22s out of a plastic bag. Typical... I have never heard the word "nigga" as much in my life as I have these past eleven days. It's like there's a contest and everyone's getting paid per use. It's ridiculous. These kids didn't get that from the streets, they got it from movies. That- and my cellmate who is the most flagrant user of "nigga" at the dumbest times is my height or less and the same build. He wears a 4X jumpsuit. Yeah. He and a few other "tough guys" fooling nobody but themselves like to not wear the part from the waist up and roll or tie it around their waist- or just have it on but unsnapped all the way down so you can see their "draws". The most retarded was when one of these goons was wearing it the first way I described so he had to walk around with his blanket over his shoulders wrapped around him to stay warm. Seriously. That's even dumber than the guy flipping through the channels stopping for a few minutes on the Weather Channel. You can't make this shit up...
They're watching the MTV VMAs- I stuck my head out because I heard the Chili Peppers but AFI won and of course my "bunkie" was like "You like them." Me: "Uh, no. Fuck them." Him: "But you gots to. Look at they hair." Me: "No. Fuck them." Him: "Aw, they GANGSTA, nigga...(jibberish)" OH, IT JUST GOT BETTER. As I was writing the word "jibberish" we got called out for head count so the interrogation resumed. "You like dat 'You're beautiful' song?" (it came on earlier so now, NO LIE, at least twice every minute you hear someone "singing" those two words as high-pitched as possible) Me: "No, I don't." This went on. One guy suggested I might like Marilyn Manson. Nope. "Who you do like?" "Uh, Social Distortion, The Bouncing Souls, Ran..." "Yo, Norris you eva hear of Search of Da Planet? He say he like them."
Tuesday, September 5th...They're out there watching some lame-o movie that they watched last week just because Angelina Jolie's in it. Whatthefuckever. One, she's weird looking and two, I don't get the whole being completely rapt with someone fully clothed on TV that you think is attractive. They haven't been here that long. I think it's more of a thing they do to let everyone know how straight they are. I don't think it's a jail thing; I think it's more of a macho douchebag thing. If they were "on the out" watching a football game they'd start hopping and pointing at the screen any time they showed a cheerleader: "Yo, she BANGIN', dawg!" Thankfully, I'm not the only one here who's not an idiot. Well, no, I take that back. If I weren't an idiot, I'd be at home right now. OH! That reminds me of a few days ago; I got done with the crossword puzzles, Jumble and cryptowhateveritscalled so I took the paper out there and set it down. Immediately, this curious no-neck picks it up and looks at me suspiciously and asks "You smart or something?" You could almost see the wheels turning in his head: "Must... eliminate... all... intelligence." So, the first thing that popped in my head was "No, I wouldn't be here if I was smart." He said something that sounded like "aw. Huh." but could have been just about anything and walked away. So, I sat there and read the A-section for at least five peaceful minutes before the lightbulb went off in his disproportionally small, shaved head. He walked up to me and said (remember- it had been five minutes) "Hey, I'm in here. You sayin' I'm not smart?" It took every ounce of inborn self preservation to keep from bursting into laughter before I could straightface a "We all got caught"...

Tuesday's Trevor: 34?

2010-06-28T23:11:00.000-07:00

This is the first in a weekly series of Trevors on Tuesdays. It will be one of two weekly features, the other being 'Thursday's Tony Gwynn'. I had been doing 'Today's Tony Gwynn' but at the rate of one a day, it wouldn't have lasted a year. I dropped the practice without mention right after his 50th birthday; I would have mentioned it had I known I was stopping but, not gonna lie, I just got lazy and stayed that way. Now, with these two theme days in place, FoC will always have at least two posts a week and they'll be better than the rushed scan-and-sentence copouts from the days of daily Gwynns.
It's long forgotten now, but Trevor wasn't always #51. From the time he came over from the Marlins in the Sheffield deal through the end of that season, he rocked the unfamiliar #34. Mike Maddux had #51 in '93 and, for reasons unbeknownst to me, Trevor took it over in his absense the next spring. Without doubt, Trevor's #51 will be the next number to take its place aside the familiar 6 19 31 35 42. Knowing that The Pissin' Professor's big brother was the last to wear 51 before Trevor, let's look at who was the last to wear each of the retired numbers.

6- retired for Steve Garvey in 1989: In 1988, the year between Garvey's retirement and his number's, Keith Moreland wore #6 as he had previously in Philadelphia and with the Cubs before switching to #7 partway through the season. He is the only man to wear the number since The Garv.
19- retired for Tony in 2002: before T, the last man to wear #19 as a Padre was Gene Richards in 1978.
31- retired for Dave Winfield in 2001: last worn by Matt Clement in 2000. He switched to #21 partway through the season.
35- retired for Randy Jones in 1997: last worn by Al Osuna in 1996
42- retired by all of baseball in 1997: last worn by "Not That" Pedro Martinez in 1994.

Two Coreys, One Bip

2010-06-18T23:06:00.000-07:00

I have quite a few Bips, but not this one. I had never seen this card until 2007 when it was passed through me digitally by my two favorite Coreys. Wait, what? Well, one Corey e-mailed me the scan and I promptly forwarded it to another Corey- my then-brother-in-law and noted all-around-good-guy who's the biggest Bip fan I know (It's worth noting that Corey 1 HATES Bip as much as Corey 2 loves him). Also note that I said 'two favorite Coreys'- I don't want Kory Blum or Cory Davis or any Coris to take offense. I'm pretty sure I've offended Corey Cooper but that's definitely not a first. One infamous night a few years ago, a bunch of us were hammered drunk and, according to all accounts I yelled at him a bunch that "Corey Cooper doesn't tell me what to do! When the hell has a Corey Cooper told a Joe Lanek what do do? Never! See, Tyler Kirk might be able to hint around and suggest what might be a good idea but he doesn't tell me what to do- and he's Tyler Kirk! And if Tyler Kirk doesn't tell me what to do, then some Corey Cooper SURE AS FUCK doesn't tell me what to do!" Later through the night, my cousin Mitchell ended up getting antiqued with an entire bag of flour and eventually I broke three bones in my hand punching Tyler in the shoulder at like seven in the morning. Yep, good times...

To Shave Or Not To Shave?

2010-06-01T06:19:00.000-07:00

Well, May is over and I have a dilemma. On my chin is exactly one month of growth. I'm not sure whether to shave it off because a May beard is good for May and May only or whether I should do the Crash Davis thing and respect the streak. It's down to just the chinpiece because I shaved the sides after getting swept by the filthy effin' Dodgers because something obviously needed to change. When that got stale and we lost consecutive games to the Mariners and Nationals, it was the soulpatch's time to go. There was never any 'stache to bump off for the good of the team because I make a point to keep that zone free and clear on a daily basis. Not on my face, lipwarmer... But, at any rate, what do you guys (and gals but you know what I mean) think? There's a poll on the sidebar; feel free to express any additional thoughts on the matter in the comments.
Note: Poll closes at first pitch of tonight's game.

Calvin Schiraldi: A Man With A Beard

2010-05-31T23:11:00.000-07:00

["Editor's" Note; July 1st, 8:06 AM Eastern/ 5:06 AM Pacific: I threw this together yesterday evening and set it to autopost at 11:11 PM Pacific... except it turns out I put 6/31 instead of 5/31. My bad!]
Calvin Schiraldi pitched for the Padres toward the beginning of my fandom but I have no real recollections of him. Sure, I'd see his name in the box score or get the occasional card but he never really appeared on my radar. Later, I'd go on to read about his exploits in the '86 World Series and to this day that's still pretty much the only time I ever see him referenced. But, that's all neither here nor there; all that matters is that it's still May and he's rockin' three degrees of bearditude.

Ten Trivia Gems

2010-05-27T15:04:00.000-07:00

Each of the past two days, I've wanted to post a Jerry Hairy card to celebrate both his unlikely game-winning home run and his unlikely game-winning walkoff home run but, alas, the only card I have of him that I haven't already posted depicts him fully clean-shaven and, as you know, that just doesn't fly around here- not until June 1st at least. So, with that not an option, I'm just going to toss up another batch of beards accompanied by a slew of completely unrelated Padres facts. I hope you enjoy.

1) Of all Major League franchises, the Padres hold the second-WORST all-time winning percentage (.463)- second only to the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays (.432). This season, the Pads have the second-BEST winning percentage (.609) in MLB- second only to the Tampa Bay Rays (.681).

2) Even the most casual fan knows that we've never had a pitcher throw a no-hitter and that we've never had a batter hit for the cycle. However, I frequently notice people inquiring whether we're the only team to not have one or the other. The answer? Yep. However, this was not the case until my brother Paul's birthday last season when BJ Upton of the aforementioned Rays relieved his club of sharing that dubious dishonor with ours.

3) Also well known is that 2001 inductee Dave Winfield was the first player depicted wearing a Padres hat on his Hall Of Fame plaque, joined only by Mr. Padre himself six years later. The first member to have at one point played for the Friars was elected a decade and a half earlier- Willie "Stretch" McCovey in 1986, pictured appropriately wearing a Giants cap.

4) In addition to weighing considerably more than two of me, gargantuan first baseman stuck in left field Kyle Blanks was born on the same day in the same year as my younger brother John. There wasn't much celebrating happening on their fifteenth birthdays as some b-holes chose that day to jack some planes and forever alter the Manhattan skyline and American history books for the worse.

5) In their 42 seasons of play, the Padres have used 23 different Opening Day starting pitchers, led by four-timers Randy Jones, Eric Show and Jake Peavy. Oddly, six hurlers have had multiple Opening Day starts in non-consecutive years: Jones ('75-'77, '80), Show ('84, '86-'87, '89), Ed Whitson ('88, '91), Bruce Hurst ('90, '92), Andy Ashby ('96, '99) and Woody Williams ('01, '05).

6) Halfway through the 1990 season, "Trader" Jack McKeon was replaced as manager with Greg Riddoch. Both men posted identical .463 win percentages.

7) Although 1980 was Dave Winfield's final year as a Padre and he played his last Major League game in 1995, his #31 was not retired until 2001. It was last worn in 1999 by Matt Clement who switched to #21 the following season.

8) 1992 was a record book year for two soon-to-be-jettisoned sluggers. Fred McGriff became the only Padre ever to lead the league in home runs while Gary Sheffield won the batting title- the only Friar other than Tony Gwynn to do so.

9) LF/1B John Kruk ('86-'89) and RP Jon Adkins ('06) are the only two West Virginia born players in Padres history. While Kruk went on to attain a certain level of celebrity during his time in Philadelphia and his subsequent broadcasting career, Adkins will be best known by most for being part of the trade that brought us Heat Bell.

10) Shrek and Jairston are the ninth set of brothers who have both worn the Padres' uniform. Including the Hoffmans with Glenn serving as third base coach, the Hairstons are the sixth set to suit up at the same time and the fifth set- along with the Alomars, Mr. Padre and Chris, the Gileses and the Fightin' Gonzali- to be teammates. The three sets of Friar hermanos whose tenures in San Diego didn't overlap are Phil and Jerald Clark, Melvin and Wil Nieves, as well as Mike Maddux and The Professor.

The FoC 100th Post Celebratory Review and Beardstravaganza

2010-05-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

Wow, one hundred posts. I guess this is a milestone and should be approached in a completely over-the-top fashion thusly. I can honestly say that when I started this in January of Aught-Nine, I imagined that I'd have a hundred posts knocked out much, much sooner. Oh, well; it's finally picking up steam and I have no complaints about the journey. Before I get into links and statistics, let's take a moment to pay our respects to Beard Month with eight completely generic nineties-style 'stache/goat combos: The well trimmed goatee was pretty much a career-long mainstay for all of these guys except for Benes. He spent most of his time in San Diego naked-faced, adopting the look only toward the end of his Padres tenure when it was getting trendy. When it first started appearing on his face is when we should have known he was turning evil and would soon become a member of our hated northern rivals. These next four Pads were nowhere near as decisive; they are pictured in a state of limbo, exhibiting the lazy look favored by George Michael and sdsuaztec4 (nope, I'm still not anywhere near done with this post):

Although this is the one hundredth post, more than a hundred cards are depicted. Including the fourteen in this post, 138 to be exact. This is the part where I get my Wonko on and have some fun breaking down numbers that nobody else is even remotely interested in:

3 guest posts
16 Tony Gwynn posts, 33 cards (24%)
10 cards of Padres pictured with other teams (Abner, Furmaniak, Gaudin, Sut, Jerry Hairy x2, Cora x2, C. Gwynn & B. Giles) (7%)
7 non Padres sharing a card with a Padre (Edgar Martinez, A-Rod, Brett Butler & Will Clark w/ Tony, Matt Holliday w/ Adrian & J.R. House and Juan Castro with Ben Davis) (5%)
Two Dodgers (Butler, C. Gwynn) are pictured, albeit with all references to filthy Dodgerdom obscured.
19 players pictured more than once, led by Tony's 33; Klesko & Adrian have 6 & 5 respectively; Broke, Joey, Abner & Briles have 3 apiece.
This month has far and away been the most prolific, with 29 posts to date showcasing 45 cards, including 23 Tonys in 14 posts. Tied for second are February & April of this year with 12 each.
Two back to back posts in February are tied for the most comments with 7.
63 posts are tied with zero comments.
My friend Shane a.k.a. Shizzle a.k.a. Sheezy is mentioned, inferred to or referenced on 6 occasions.
Aside from the two Abners Steve sent with his post, there has been 1 reader contribution.
4 logoless oddball cards are depicted
1 post doesn't have a card- it's the most important post of them all.
Gaslamp Ball is mentioned, linked or alluded to more times than can be counted.
Heath Bell has been mentioned the most times without being profiled

Well, I think that just about puts a bow on it. I'd like to use this part to thank everybody who has read, commented on, retweeted, linked, contributed to or had anything whatsoever to do with these first hundred posts. As always, feedback, submissions, suggestions and anything else you can come up with are more than welcome. Thanks once again.

The Klesko Facial Hair Chronicles, Volume 5: Chinblock & Soul Triangle

2010-05-25T07:27:00.000-07:00

The last three face-farms were rather man-dude; this one is pretty dude-bro in comparison. Nevertheless, I like it from an aesthetic perspective; it stands out with about being distracting, detracting and/or ridiculous- most of his other looks were at least two if not all three of those...

The next and final(?) installment of this series, depicting a naked-faced Ryan, will be here on June 1st, the high holiday Saint Shavey O'Getthatshitoffyourface's Day which is celebrated by Gaslamp Ballers around the world- I think you know how we observe it. Until then, you won't be seeing any clean-shaven mugs adorning the front page of this humble blog.

The Klesko Facial Hair Chronicles, Volumes 3&4: Circlegoats

2010-05-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

These two are basically more conservative variations on the last one, each slightly more reined in than the previous.

The Klesko Facial Hair Chronicles, Volume 2: Chopgoat

2010-05-24T14:54:00.000-07:00

I love how he has such a serious face in this picture because nobody looking at it could possibly do the same. It reminds me of the classic Ozzie chopstache, just with a circle goat instead of just a lip warmer. My friend Shane has rocked this look before and I ridiculed him as well, although this was clearly a case of "haters gon' hate" as anyone who has seen my meager collection of sparse face pubes can attest.

The Klesko Facial Hair Chronicles, Volume 1: Facehawk

2010-05-24T12:45:00.000-07:00

Since it's May and May means one thing- May beards!- I thought I'd chronicle some of the looks worn by San Diego's most prolific facial hair farmer.

Here's Klesko with his most understated look. Some call it a soul strip but when I rocked it, I just called it a facehawk.

Eric Owens: Intense

2010-05-23T18:01:00.000-07:00

I love this story (from the back): "There's intense and there's Eric Owens-intense. Back at Ferrum College, rarely visited by scouts, Eric was distraught that he couldn't play for some who were about to attend a game. Nursing injuries incurred dunking a basketball, he had both of his wrists in casts. Solution: Owens and his friends hacked the casts off with a jackknife and a butterknife. He played the rest of the year and was drafted in the fourth round. 'I took a lot of Advil,' he said."

This Thursday's Guest: Steve from White Sox Cards on Shawn Abner

2010-05-20T13:10:00.000-07:00

This Thursday's Guest is Steve from the phenomenal White Sox Cards blog. I was really looking forward to this and was still blown away; I hope you enjoy reading it half as much as I did.

For whatever reason, I became infatuated with Shawn Abner for a brief period in 1985. I was a sucker for the subsets in the Topps set that year and to me Shawn was the epitome of coolness, however misguided or misplaced that was at the time.

All I knew was that Abner was the number one pick in the draft and that impressed me enough that summer to hold Shawn’s Topps card with great admiration. In fact, that card still brings a smile to my face when I see it.

It probably helped that Shawn was part of the Mets system back then. My friends were abuzz about Strawberry and Gooden. I can’t say I blame them. They were two young players with bright futures and the skills to back them up, so when I saw that Shawn was going to be part of that and he was the number one pick, I was convinced that it would prove to be a winning combination.

While my friends were coveting cards of Clemens, Puckett, Eric Davis, Sandberg, Boggs and other stars of the day, I held on to Shawn Abner. Not only was he the high draft pick, but he had a kind face.

A few seasons had passed and I looked for Shawn on the Mets, but he was nowhere to be found. Unknown to me at the time, Abner had been traded to the Padres and never would see MLB playing time with the Mets.

I fell out of collecting, but I still watched games. Unfortunately, in the eighties there wasn’t interleague play yet and the team that I rooted for was in the American League. My path would not cross Shawn Abner’s again until I got back into card collecting.

By 1990, I had all but forgotten about Shawn. Then as I started buying packs again, I ran across his cards. It was a revelation to see that he was on the Padres! I had heard about the exciting young crop of players that San Diego was putting out on the field the past few years. Names like John Kruk, Joey Cora, Benito Santiago and the Alomar brothers immediately jump to mind.

Plus, there were names I was very familiar with, like Eric Show, Jack Clark and, of course, Tony Gwynn. Those were names that shaped my childhood, but I never knew that Shawn was among those names until I started collecting again.

I had a habit of latching on to players, as a child, for reasons that only made sense to me. I think in Shawn’s case, the deciding factor was his kind face. I can’t say that I remember watching Abner too much as a Padre, but I do recall thinking that good things happen when he’s involved.

1990 was smack dab in the middle of the overproduction period of baseball cards. As quickly as I found Shawn again, it seemed that he was popping up everywhere. This only made me happier. I found out that Abner was a light hitter, but he was a scrappy player that gave it his all. That only led to more admiration from my end.

I was a little disappointed and a little excited when Shawn moved to the Angels. I would get to see him more often. I did get to see him play six games against the White Sox in September 1991. Four hits in six games didn’t make much of an impression, but it was enough to sustain. All of Abner’s hits came in Angel victories against the Pale Hose. That only exaggerated the legend of Shawn Abner as a good luck charm, in my book.

After a Spring Training where I was still lamenting the late cut of John Cangelosi from the previous year, imagine my surprise when the White Sox signed the legendary Shawn Abner! The Sox opened against the team that cut him just a few weeks prior. The Sox swept the Angels to open the season and my stance of Abner as a good luck charm was cemented.

Shawn responded by having arguably his best season in the majors! He hit .279 and replaced Ozzie Guillen’s usual one homer per season with one of his own. Ozzie was out most of the year with a devastating injury when he collided with Tim Raines trying to catch a late inning pop up by the Yankee’s Mel Hall early in the season.

Abner finished up his career with the Sox, but out of mostly bad luck. Injuries kept him in the minors until his retirement.

When I think of Shawn Abner, I first think of the Padres. Then it quickly turns to the White Sox. Some people have labeled Shawn as the biggest bust of the entire draft process. I think that’s a bit harsh. Did he have a Hall of Fame career? Hardly. He did play in the majors from 1987 until 1992. Some number one draft choices never make it to the majors at all.

I’ll always smile when I think of Shawn Abner. He gave it everything he had and managed to have a little success in the majors, along with some great memories. Whether you’re a San Diego Padres fan or a Chicago White Sox fan, those two teams were better off for having Shawn Abner there as a player.

"Mud, you're the best, man."

2010-05-19T13:20:00.000-07:00

“Anybody on Earth that doesn’t like Mark Grant, they’ve got problems.”

Aid's 8th

2010-05-17T23:29:00.000-07:00

Boom. It didn't take long for a not-so-naked-faced Adrian to put the Pads on the board tonight, mashing an 0-2 pitch from that jackass Matt Cain 400 feet to dead center for his eighth bomb of the year. That swing would equal San Francisco's entire scoring output for the game as Clay Dick rolled to his third win and the aforementioned jackass picked up his third loss. For those who lost count, that's our seventh win in a row against the Giants. That's right.

Brian Johnson and Jeff Pearlman: Personal Heroes

2010-05-16T15:40:00.000-07:00

Brian Johnson is a heck of a guy.

How do I know this? Because Jeff Pearlman says so. Pearlman's my favorite author/ writer/ blogger- not just because he's incredibly good at his craft (he is), but because his beliefs, whether they're about steroids, gay rights, politics, you name it, align with mine. Also, if someone whose entire adult life has been spent being disillusioned by athletes can form a friendship with and respect the values of one, well, that's a guy I think deserves my admiration.

The more I read about Johnson, the more I look up to him in the same way I look up to Pearlman. He too is "anti-gun, pro-gay marriage, pro-environment and anti-the war in Iraq", a man unafraid to step away from the typical mindset or silence of his peers and not content to be labeled as an ex-ballplayer. Most retired athletes, from what I've seen, are all too satisfied with sitting on their laurels and being defined by what they did, not who they are. I look up to any man who has the conviction to break away from convention and let his voice be heard no matter if- well, especially if it's not something everyone wants to hear. Thank you for being the way you are, Mr. Johnson and thank you, Mr. Pearlman for bringing him to my attention.

Here's Some Filler ('06 UD Ben Johnson)

2010-05-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

Shane: "That's a cool card. Too bad he never did anything for you guys."

Me: "Never did anything? HE GOT US HEATH BELL!!!"

He's A Friar Now, Damn It!

2010-05-14T13:37:00.000-07:00

I'm getting ready to run out the door but I thought I'd toss something up here really quick. I'm gonna go hang out with Shane and watch the rest of the Cubs - Pirates game which is now tied 6 to 6 in the 6th. Spooky!

Have fun... I promise I'll have a legitimate entry up here soon.

Steve Garvey Is Not Heat Bell's Padre

2010-05-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

I love Heat Bell so much. When Dex from Gaslamp Ball gave him a retired numbers shirt to pose with, he said "You oughta figure out a way to photoshop the 6 out", emphasizing his earlier point that "That guy's a Dodger." I've been saying that for years, Heater... Incidentally, I have no Heath Bell cards; this needs to change.

The Tony Gwynn Golden Jubilee #19 of 19: The Finale

2010-05-09T23:11:00.000-07:00

So, here we are at the end of Tony The Gwynn's birthday. The Padres didn't beat the Astros like they did the day of his HOF induction- I got home that day from my grandmother's funeral to learn that we'd scored eleven runs in the first inning- but we took the series and are still in first place so no complaints there. Also, Dallas Braden's perfect game was the 19th in Major League history- a fitting tribute for a man who spent his career with that number on his back.

Happy birthday, Mr. Padre; here's to fifty more great years!

The Tony Gwynn Golden Jubilee #17 of 19

2010-05-09T22:16:00.000-07:00

This is a pretty unremarkable card, although the Uni Watcher side of me notices one noteworthy aspect: the patch on his right sleeve, commemorating 'La Primera Serie', their series against the Mets held in Monterrey- the first Major League regular season games played outside the United States or Canada.

The Tony Gwynn Golden Jubilee #16 of 19

2010-05-09T21:42:00.000-07:00

First off, this card is ridiculous. This whole era of cards seemed like a war to see who could come up with the most garish, over-the-top atrocities and I'm glad that time has passed.

Secondly, whenever I see the word "Boss", one thing comes to mind. Well, one person, really. I never understand why people laugh or think I'm trying to be "ironic" like some stupid hipster when I wear a Bruce Springsteen shirt. It's hard to believe that some people have no idea how unbelievably great he is. Too bad for them.

I've always loved the little exchange at the end of the "Glory Days" video:

"Who'd you pitch against today?"

"San Diego today."

"How'd you do?"

"Nettles got me in the bottom of the ninth."

The Tony Gwynn Golden Jubilee #14 & 15 of 19

2010-05-09T21:02:00.000-07:00

I love oddball cards so much. Post's were always awesome; I didn't even like Alpha-Bits that much but I would suffer through boxes of it for the cards. Hostess had a pretty great set around this time- of course, I had no problem eating cupcakes all day, every day...

The Tony Gwynn Golden Jubilee #12 & 13 of 19

2010-05-09T15:54:00.000-07:00

Nothing altogether special about this pair of '01s, although it's notable that they used shots from the same game on both- also, the pictures on the backs are both of him sitting in the dugout with his sunglasses perched on his hat. That's just lazy.

The Tony Gwynn Golden Jubilee #11 of 19

2010-05-09T13:59:00.000-07:00

From the back: "If there is such a thing as a hitting artist, Tony is it. "Mr. Padre" is another on the small list of players that I would pay to see. He won a batting title in '96 despite suffering from a painful heel injury. If you broke his legs, he'd probably still get a hit off you." -Dan Patrick
I'm not gonna bother typing out what Olbermann said because it was boring and, besides, I don't really care for him.

The Tony Gwynn Golden Jubilee #9 & 10 of 19

2010-05-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

I followed the Mariners a bit during the 90s due to Joey Cora being there. I got pretty familiar with these two guys and I really think that Edgar should be in the Hall of Fame along with T. The other guy, though? Oh, hell no.

The Tony Gwynn Golden Jubilee #6-8 of 19

2010-05-09T11:14:00.000-07:00

I love that there are so many pictures out there of Tony signing. No matter how big he got, he never got too big for his fans.

The Tony Gwynn Golden Jubilee #4 & 5 of 19

2010-05-09T05:09:00.000-07:00

Every time I see a 1990 Donruss- which is often- I always think of my cousin Amy's husband John, who gave me the full set- my first full set ever. I know you couldn't care less but, hey, I had to write something here.

The Tony Gwynn Golden Jubilee #2 & 3 of 19

2010-05-09T03:19:00.000-07:00

I'm actually really glad that Tony's BA wasn't over .400 when the strike occured because then we'd still be hearing crap about how it wasn't legit. At least this way, we all get to bitch and moan about how he got screwed.

The Tony Gwynn Golden Jubilee #1 of 19

2010-05-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

From the back: "When he steps to the plate, the question of hits is when, not if."

This Tuesday's Guest: SDPads1 from RJ's Fro on Wally Joyner

2010-05-04T10:54:00.000-07:00

This Tuesday's Guest is SDPads1, who runs the Padres site RJ's Fro as well as the also spectacular Padres merchandise blog .400 in '94 which, to his admission, he's been neglecting lately. I can relate! Without further ado, here he is with everything you need to know about Wally Joyner; enjoy!

On December 21st 1995, the Padres world would forever be changed. In one of his first trades ever, former GM Kevin Towers brought over first baseman Wally Joyner from the Kansas City Royals for Leon "Bip" Roberts. And with that trade "Wally World" was unleashed on the city of San Diego. From 1996-1999, the man known for his long flowing locks, would help the Padres win a NL West title in both 1996 & 1998 and a NL pennant in 1998.

Backed by a solid glove and a smooth swing, Joyner would go on to hit .291, rack up 480 hits & walk (229) more than he struck out (220) during his career in San Diego. A former All-Star & Rookie of the Year runner up with the California Angels, he never showed to much power, but was a team leader in the clubhouse and knew his role.

As quickly as he swooped into our hearts he swooped out. Exactly 4 years and 1 day after he arrived in San Diego he left. His buddy KT traded him and outfielder Reggie Sanders to the Atlanta Braves for second baseman Bret Boone and first baseman Ryan Klesko ending the Wally World era in San Diego.....or did it?

In August of 2007 the revolving door of Padres hitting coaches reached out and drug in Wally Joyner. Right away the Padres bats lit up. Before Joyner took over, the team was hitting .242 for the season. After he took over, they raised the team average 23 points to a solid .265. Not much happened at the end of that season though so we can skip to the following season where the team struggled for most of the year. In September of 2008 Joyner resigned as the teams hitting coach citing major differences in philosophy with the Padres front office.

I'd like to thank TTG for asking me to bring the joy of Wally World upon the world once again.

Tomorrow's Tony Gwynn (05/04/10)

2010-05-03T22:49:00.000-07:00

It's still eleven-something over on the good coast but I'm gonna go ahead and put this up a little early. ~~Today's~~ Tomorrow's Tony Gwynn is a '95 Studio Gold, #25 of 50. It's a beautiful card with a unique design and I enjoy that he's wearing two pairs of glasses but nevermind all that. I'm not content just to live in tomorrow; I wanna get way ahead of myself. Let's talk about Sunday, shall we?
This upcoming Sunday is Tony The Gwynn's fiftieth birthday. I kicked through a few variations of the same idea before I settled on one I found fitting. First I thought to post one Tony card every hour. While nice sentiment, the number twenty four seemed very out of place. Next I thought that I should post fifty, one for every year, but that's one every half hour plus two more and, quite frankly, no. Obviously, this stupid little nerdblog is just here for my enjoyment and I can see the fun getting sucked out of that by about the twentieth one. Hey, twenty's too many? Well, nineteen shouldn't be too bad. Shouldn't be too bad?!?! Nineteen's perfect! So, there you have it, nineteen. It should prove to be challenging without crossing over to drudgery- at least I'm hoping.

Today's Three Gwynns (05/03/10) featuring Scrabble, Scott Sanders and Chris

2010-05-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

I never posted a Tony yesterday since I got sidetracked by hanging out and eventually playing Scrabble for twelve hours- and if you don't know me, yes, I won every game- so here's an extra one to make up for it. I'll go ahead and throw in one of his brother Chris for good measure while I'm at it.

Today's Tony Gwynn is a '93 SP #167, a card I've always gotten a kick out of. The only information provided on the back is that "Gwynn confused onlookers by donning Padres pitcher Scott Sanders' [sic- should read 'Sanders's'] jersey for a spring training [also sic- should be capitalized] game". Well, yeah! I could tell that much from the front, UD! I've been an onlooker of this card for seventeen years and I'm still confused. I've always wondered if he only had one jersey on the road trip that got stolen or FUBAR or if he was just messing around and having fun with Sanders, his other teammates and fans. Somebody has to know the story behind it; if not a Padres fan, I'm sure at least one Uni Watcher will have the goods.

Today's Third Gwynn is a '92 Topps #604 of Tony's brother and Anthony's uncle Chris, pictured back when he was a filthy effin' Dodger. It is my personal policy to never promote or endorse any sort of low-down Dodgerdom on this blog and since I don't have any cards of him as a Padre, I was pleased to find one of him shoulders-up and hatless that required only the most minimal of MS Paint correction...

My Condolences To Clay Hensley

2010-05-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

I was never a fan of Clay Hensley when he was with the Padres, but all of that went out the window when I read the latest news about him.

from The Miami Herald:

"Shortly after turning in another impressive outing on Friday, Marlins reliever Clay Hensley returned to the clubhouse, checked the messages on his cellphone and went numb with the news that was awaiting him: the unexpected death of his father."

Man... I can't even imagine. It's stuff like this that puts baseball in perspective for me. The genuine sadness and sympathy I feel for the guy right now is gonna make me think twice before I rip into a player for not being who I think he should be. It's just so inconsequential in the big picture.

Today's Tony Gwynn: 05/01/10

2010-05-01T01:44:00.000-07:00

"Any time you're trying to do something perfect, [you are] so focused on what you do [that] it's not always pretty"

-Tony Gwynn

Today's Tony Gwynn is a Circa '97 #150

Today's Tony Gwynn: 04/30/10

2010-04-30T11:38:00.000-07:00

Mr. Padre with former Giant and Indian Brett Butler.

Today's Tony Gwynn is a '94 Fleer #711

Archi! (Guest Post by Alex Kasendorf)

2010-04-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

Today's Friars on Cardboard is a guest piece from husband, father of one- soon to be two, attorney, all-around good guy and driver of the sexiest Volvo you've ever seen, Alex Kasendorf. Enjoy.

Angelo Dominic Cianfrocco . . . who? ARCHI! Yes, you remember him . . . played a little first but mostly at third for the Friars in the mid-nineties. Started as an Expos but was traded to the Padres in 1993 for Tim Scott. Always loved this guy. Although his stats were never great, he played hard and had a few timely knocks.

Both Archi and my dad are from New York, which is why I think my dad took to him. Whenever Archi would play, my dad would get a little glimmer in his eye and shout “Archi!” That is probably why I have fond memories of the guy. Sitting at the Q, sucking down soda, peanuts and licorice, cheering on the local nine, with my dad. Not many memories beat that.

Some Archi tidbits: While playing for the Padres, had multiple fan clubs, including "Archi's Army" and the "CianfrocCrew". On Hall of Fame Weekend August 4, 1997, won the Home Run Derby in Cooperstown. He also was the Padres' batter facing Tom Browning when the Cincinnati Reds pitcher broke his arm while delivering a pitch.

Alexander S. Kasendorf is a senior associate with Alpert, Barr & Grant. You can view his bio here.

Today's Tony Gwynn: 04/29/10

2010-04-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

I really like this particular one. Not only is it an "Opening Day" limited run, but it got trimmed short and the top got notched by whatever the machine they use to crimp packs shut is called.

Today's Tony Gwynn is a 2000 Topps (Opening Day) #2.

More Trevor- This Time He's... Bunting?

2010-04-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

Here's another card of Trevor that cracks me up. I mean, as a closer, he needs to be able to bunt about as much as he needs to wear catcher's gear. I guess he just enjoys having fun with the mundane, be it finding new ways to pass the time in the bullpen or just screwing around with photographers.

I really miss having this guy around, but that's not to say I don't hope we light him up this weekend if it comes down to it.

Today's Tony Gwynn: 04/28/10

2010-04-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

Since I got seventy-some new Tonys last week in addition to the metric shit-ton I already had, I thought it would be a good idea to post a daily Mr. Padre card to go along with whatever other crap I put up on this stupid little nerdblog. "Today's Tony Gwynn" seemed like a good name for the series as I've become closely associated with the initials "TTG" over the years...

Today's Tony Gwynn is a '97 Select, #3.

The Swing

2010-04-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

As I was looking through a stack of Tonys, I noticed how consistent his swing was in all of them, from the 80s 'til he retired. The body changed but the swing remained the same. I arranged about a dozen of them flipbook style, from the beginning of his swing through his follow-through. Pictured above is my favorite portion of the sequence.